6 Punishment Room Haikus

Hi everyone. Rough day yesterday for me, as that annoying Cat who shares this house with me, Ralphy, provoked me several times in a way that no one could see. I had to give him is due beating. Problem is that the attention givers didn't see it that way, so I spent a few very long moments in the "punishment room" so I could think about what I had done. Instead of thinking, I came up with the following Haiku's that I hope accurately relate the injustice I faced over the weekend. Enjoy!

Punishment Room Haiku in six stanzas

1
Ralph sitting calmly
Quietly insulting me
No one can see him

2
My calling beckons
Crimes must not go unpunished
Justice falls on Ralph

3
Vigilante I
Anger swells from deep within
My action is swift

4
Dante, Dejalo!
Scream the attention givers
Quickly lifted up

5
Door slams, alone I
Punishment room sitting long
They fail to see Ralph

6
Justice unfairly
Wrought upon me, bathroom door
Opening, Freedom!

Something's in the air

So over the past several several weeks, I have been noticing something different about attention giver Dallys (she claims she's my mom, but I think she is confused about the hierarchy in the house). It started in November of last year thereabouts. Now don't get me wrong, she does an excellent job of satisfying all my needs. She gives me tuna when I ask, brushes me on very regular occasion, showers attention on me at all hours of the day. But in November things started changing. She would sleep later and more often. Now that was fun except the sleeping later, as I wouldn't get my food on time. But the more often, just meant more naps for me with her! That would be intermixed with frequent trips to the punishment room (more on that later) where she would make horrible noises, ones I was unfamiliar with. It was obvious she was not well. So with Ralph and Blondy, we would keep a worried eye on her. Also caretaker Jason would be with her as well as she bent over the attention giver litter box making those horrible noises. This happened a lot. I also noticed a different smell that all of us cats picked up. It made us want to be very close to her, especially her belly. But then a couple of months later, that belly began to grow. And with that growth, she wouldn't let us sleep on the belly anymore. Now that was a real bummer, as that is my favorite place to sleep in the morning. But I digress. In March, as I was napping with her next to that belly, the belly hit me!!! It really scared me as I had never had that happen before. So now I keep clear, but from time to time try to sleep on the big belly, which only causes her to make other noises that I associate with when I am tearing up her Christmas tree or her yarn or when I am beating up Ralph. This I really don't get, as Jason gets to touch the belly, sleep on it, hold his hand on it and he is even talking to it. Furthermore, her and attention giver Jason spend time trying to get me to pay attention to them playing with this doll they call "cabbage patch." They carry it around on their shoulders where I should normally go. This is just really weird, it even smells funny as they put some kind of cream on it. I think they are out of their minds, but they insist I look at them when the do this. So back to the original thought. Something is up, I cant say what it is, but it has to do with that belly. Maybe it will pass and be nothing. I cant imagine it would be anything that would interfere with the perfect life that I am leading.

Introductions

So I have just found out about this whole Internet and blogging thing. Here I thought the computer or laptop was just a nice warm place to sleep on top of. But after watching the upright walking cats staring at the thing for a while, I think I got this figured out. My name is Dante, I live with my attention givers, Dallys and Jason and with two cats like me, who take attention away from me, Ralph and Blondie. I decided to create this blog as like most bloggers, I like to think I have something to say. Or at least that something to say hopefully gets me some food. Anyway, I hope you like this blog, as it will be my view of the world, which generally I think is the right view. I will write more, but my tummy is growling and those silly attention givers of mine seem to think it is time to go to sleep. So I better remind them that I have only eaten 5 times today. Perhaps if I keep them awake they will get the message. If not, then I will just pick a fight with Ralph. That gets their attention. Or maybe I will just sleep. Haven't done that for about 45 minutes.